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Monday, February 15, 2010

Smile: It is good for health

                                                This is what SORRY LOOKS LIKE
This is what BAD MOOD looks like
                                                      This is what TIRED looks like
                                              This is what HELPING HAND looks like

                                             This is what COURAGE looks like

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.. 

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here." 

The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg..  

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank theTitanic; my forefathers were on that ship." 

Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg thatsank the ship, not me."   The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."   

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in acompetition in Britain (?)*

*The question mark is mine (sent by Mr. Ramakrishna fro Kualalumpur)
Some jokes about aged
An  elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the storm, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find him, so  the captain sent the old woman back to shore with the promise that he would notify her as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old woman got a fax from the boat. It read, 'Ma'am, sorry to inform you, we found your husband dead at the  bottom of the ocean. We hauled him up to the deck and attached to his butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise.'The old woman faxed back, 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'
A  funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were  playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time... but I just can't think of your  name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

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