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Monday, February 18, 2008

Customer Relation Management.

This is what happens to our personal database... CRM stands for Customer Relationship Management the buzz going among IT arena for marketing guys and every corporation is in a rush to implement it....

This is what CRM is all about . . . . . . . . .enjoy.

The Future of Customer Service Centres

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your...

Customer: Halloo, can I order..

Operator: Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?

Customer: Its eh..., hold on......6102049998-45-54610

Operator: OK... you're... Mr. Singh and you're calling from 17 Richmond road. Your home number is 80942366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile is 982266566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?

Customer: Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator: We are connected to the system Sir

Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza...

Operator: That's not a good idea Sir

Customer: How come?

Operator: According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir

Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?

Operator: Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza.You’ll like it

Customer: How do you know for sure?

Operator: You borrowed a book entitled Popular Hokkien Dishes from the National Library last week Sir

Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family sized ones then, how much will that cost?

Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is 749.99

Customer: Can I pay by credit card?

Operator: I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and your owing your bank 73720.55 since October last year

Operator: That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives

Operator: You cant Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today

Customer: Never minds just send the pizzas, Ill have the cash ready. How long is it going take anyway?

Operator: About 45 minutes Sir, but if you cant wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...

Customer: What!

Operator: According to the details in system, you own a Scooter,...registration number E1123...

Customer: *!^ *%^**%^I7*

Operator: Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?

Customer: [Speechless]

Operator: Is there anything else Sir?

Customer: Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator: We normally would Sir, but based on your records your also diabetic.......

The Customer faints...




Priceless .........4