How to identify and deal with backstabbers at work

Backstabbing at workplace certainly devastates individuals, especially when a person doesn't know ho to deal with it. Now, career guru Kepcher has offered some advice on how to identify and cope with backstabbers at workplace.

Credit Stealer

Seemingly helpful team player who will enthusiastically support your suggestions and work to make the project a big success - particularly because she intends to take credit.

This will include magnifying her own role, using personal pronouns such as 'I' and 'me' as substitutes for "we" whenever possible.

The Chameleon

He, too, will appear to be a helpful team player, offering encouragement and support in private.

However, the chameleon will launch into his command performance whenever bosses are present and criticize ideas he supported some time back, including subtly accusing his peers of failing to notice the problems.

His every move is an effort to make himself look good - by making others look bad.

Backstabber In Chief

Occasionally, the Backstabber will also be the boss. Sigourney Weaver nailed this role in the movie "Working Girl."

The most encouraging boss imaginable will steal the assistant's potentially career-making idea.

How to handle all kinds of backstabbers at your office, by Kepcher, reports the New York Daily News:

Stay calm. Do not let them make you emotional and defensive.

Don't wander through the jungle alone. Beware of private conversations that can be misquoted later. Use e-mail and group meetings to document your contributions.

Be polite, but persistent. Learn to say no.

Use direct phrases such as, "I'm perplexed you have so many negative comments about our idea since you were so supportive when we spoke privately yesterday. Is there a reason you didn't bring up your concerns until now?"

By being direct and careful, you can help push the Backstabber species in your workplace to extinction as quickly as possible.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the advice, backstabbers are a plague!!

January 23, 2011 6:25 PM

Anonymous said...

Would like to add from my experience too. 1) Be on the lookout for nepotism. This is rampant in private sector. 2) If you don't like your work place or your boss or your colleague. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Look for other opportunities. This is against 99% of the advise you may get but, this is best for your own sake. explanation follows. 3) HR is there to manage the resource needs and to keep head count. They are NOT there to help you with your 'problems'. 4) Managers' job is to get the project done. If you complain even for a genuine reason you will be labelled as trouble maker. 5) Do not smile like a silly idiot at everyone you see. Put on a serious/important face. 6) Develop a facial expression which will hide your feelings. For example, when asking some political questions at work place a manager (american) used to look 45 degrees down and smile without showing teeth. Then gives a neutral answer. If you want to learn this technique; watch interviews of american diplomats in India on NDTV, CNN IBN or some other news channel. I recommend Mr Roemer US rep in India.

May 9, 2011 10:26 PM

Leadership Quality

What leadership quality would be at the top of your list? Many might say the ability to see the bigger picture - and rightly so!

The essence of this quality is encapsulated in the classic "stonecutter short-story." There are several versions of the story, and several ways to interpret its timeless lessons. It powerfully illustrates the importance of perception in our approach to work. Whether you think you're just earning a living, doing the best at your job, or you're leaving a legacy, this story demonstrates that there is great value in thinking positively and in seeing the bigger picture.

A second version of the story, adapted from Peter Drucker, suggests that just seeing the bigger picture is not enough. Real leadership quality is demonstrated through both seeing that picture, and through ensuring others see it. By building a shared vision.

Our third version of this story graphically illustrates Peter Senge's ideas on leadership quality - the importance of sharing a vision. We end this article with Charles Handy's wonderful quote about "cathedral thinkers"......

The Three Stonecutters

One day a traveller, walking along a lane, came across 3 stonecutters working in a quarry. Each was busy cutting a block of stone. Interested to find out what they were working on, he asked the first stonecutter what he was doing. "I am cutting a stone!" Still no wiser the traveller turned to the second stonecutter and asked him what he was doing. “I am cutting this block of stone to make sure that it’s square, and its dimensions are uniform, so that it will fit exactly in its place in a wall." A bit closer to finding out what the stonecutters were working on but still unclear, the traveller turned to the third stonecutter. He seemed to be the happiest of the three and when asked what he was doing replied: “I am building a cathedral.”

This story beautifully illustrates a key leadership quality - seeing the bigger picture. All three stonecutters were doing the same thing, but each gave a very different answer. Each knew how to do his job but what was it that set the third stonecutter apart? Perhaps:

·  Knowing not just how and what to do, but knowing why.

·  Viewing the whole and not just its parts.

·  Seeing a vision, a sense of the bigger picture.

·  Having the ability to see significance in work, beyond the obvious.

·  Understanding that a legacy will live on, whether in the stone of a cathedral, or in the impact made on other people.

"I am Building a Cathedral"

Demonstrating his own leadership quality, Peter Drucker told a different version of this story, going beyond the obvious in drawing out its lessons.

In Drucker's version, when asked what they were doing, the first stonecutter replied:

"I am making a living".

The second kept on hammering while he said:

"I am doing the best job of stone cutting in the entire country."

The third stonecutter, when asked the same question said:

"I am building a cathedral."

As with the earlier version, the first stonecutter knew what he wanted to get from his work, and was doing so. He was giving a fair day's work for a fair day's pay. The third stonecutter obviously had a positive attitude to his work, perhaps because he saw the bigger picture. But what about the second stonecutter? Drucker suggested this was a potential problem area, perhaps the opposite of the third stonecutter's view of the bigger picture. Here was someone focusing on his own narrow view of work, possibly to the detriment of the project as a whole. Having a functional or professional view, at the expense of the overall contribution to the organisation.

Perhaps it's worth reflecting on how we see ourselves.

·  Has work become simply a means of earning a living?

·  Are we too focused on our individual performance or achievements?

·  Do we have a sense of the bigger picture in what we do?

Answers to these questions will probably change over time and at different periods of our lives. Perhaps we do just see work as a way to earn a living, because we have more important things in our lives. Or perhaps being expert at what we do is sufficient, and we don't feel the need to engage in the wider picture.

However, we spend much of our lives at work so making that time as fulfilling as possible is worth the effort. There is also considerable evidence that being a rounded, more complex person can make us happier, both at work and in our personal lives. Learning to look beyond the obvious, to see the bigger picture, can be a big step towards that happiness but does leadership require something else?

Did the third stonecutter's reply demonstrate a leadership quality, or just someone happy in his work? Simply having the vision is not enough. Good leaders need the ability to show that vision, to share it, and to inspire others to understand and work towards it. The third stonecutter becomes a leader when his view of his work is shared by his workmates - when none of them says they're simply doing their job.
As Peter Senge has put it: the responsibility of a leader is not just to share a vision but to build a shared vision.

“I am Helping Sir Christopher Wren........”

Our final version of the story illustrates Senge's idea of leadership quality. This time the stonecutters are building London's magnificent St Paul's Cathedral, designed by the great British architect and designer, Sir Christopher Wren. In this story the third stonecutter's response does illustrate a leadership quality.....

One day, after work on his cathedral had begun, Wren unrecognised by the workforce, walked among the artisans and stonecutters.

He asked one of the workmen:

“What are you doing?” “I am cutting a piece of stone“, the workman replied.

He asked the same question of the second stonecutter. “I am earning five shillings two pence a day", the second workman replied.

He asked a third workman the same question, and the man answered, “I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a magnificent cathedral to the glory of God.”

A leadership quality might be seeing the bigger picture, but it's essential to help others share that vision.

We Need Cathedral Thinkers

"Cathedrals are incredible testaments to human endeavour. It is not only their grandeur or splendour, but the thought that they often took more than fifty years to build. Those who designed them, those who first worked on them, knew for certain that they would never see them finished. They knew only that they were creating something glorious which would stand for centuries, long after their own names had been forgotten.....

We may not need any more cathedrals but we do need cathedral thinkers, people who can think beyond their own lifetimes."

Contributed by: Seshadri Srinivasan

Phil said...

This post has been copied verbatim from our page: Leadership Quality: Seeing the Bigger Picture Would you please either attribute it properly, with a live hyperlink, or remove it from your site. Thank you Phi Higson

June 10, 2011 4:35 PM

hvaidya said...

This article was sent to me by one of the readers of my blog. I am publishing your comment with the link given by you. It was not my intention to avoid or suppress the original contributor" name. I was genuinely not aware of that. Hope publishing your comment is satisfactory to you. If you still want this to be removed, I am prepared to do it.

June 10, 2011 9:34 PM

Power of togetherness

Do not miss this thrilling story to apply in life

Dear Hariharan ,
The Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race starts this Saturday, March 6. Unlike any other event in the world, this race, which begins in Anchorage and ends in Nome, Alaska, covers over 1,150 miles of some of the most extreme terrain known to man. I’ve known about The Iditarod for years, but after reading Chris Fuller’s Iditarod Leadership, I now have much more of an appreciation for the competitors and the event which has been called “The Last Great Race on Earth.” In 2008, author Chris Fuller experienced his own Iditarod adventure by leading a team of dogs in Nome, Alaska, allowing him to learn, firsthand, the value of true leadership and its impact on the team. To illustrate these leadership concepts, Chris combined personal experiences with business fiction and has written   Iditarod Leadership: Unleashing the Power of the Team. If you’re ready to become a Master Leader, then let the adventure begin! To Your Success, Eric Harvey
Excerpted from Iditarod Leadership Prologue: A Race to Save Lives January 21, 1925—It had been a frigid winter and like most days the temperature never even reached zero—today, the high would be -5°F. The usual winter sicknesses made their rounds throughout the town, keeping the doctor busy. However, a new strain—something different— had been attacking their immune systems, and the young Inuits were particularly vulnerable. The process of diagnosing, treating, assessing and altering treatment had led to this point. Dr. Curtis Welch had come to the realization that what he was chasing was a deadly outbreak of Diphtheria. The villagers of this remote northern port located along the Bering Sea would not survive without the antitoxin. The search begins for the life saving serum, but as time wore on, the distance grew with every telegraph… Finally, the only serum in Alaska was found. Where? How many miles? His heart sank. A thousand miles away? A thousand miles of frozen, Alaskan wilderness away? The serum was in the care of Dr. J. B. Beeson at the Alaska Railroad Hospital in Anchorage. How fast can it be transported? The usual method for transportation during the summer months was steamship, but the sea had iced in the town since October, and it wouldn’t thaw until June. What about planes? Would someone be so daring as to fly during these conditions and attempt the landing? The only two available planes had been disassembled and neither had ever flown in winter. The call for help reached the Governor and the request for an alternate route was approved. The Alaskan Railroad ferried the medicine more than 250 miles north to Nenana. But from that point on, the traveling was treacherous. From there began what became known as “The Great Race  of Mercy.” Just before Midnight, January 27, with the clock ticking, the serum and the survival of the town was transferred into the hands of rugged men and their teams of sled dogs who would race across some of the most brutal terrain and the harshest conditions that Mother Nature has to offer. When the first musher left Nenana, the temperature reportedly hovered at -50°F. The volunteer mushers transferred this “Baton of Life” 18 times—until it reached the hands of Leonhard Seppala and his Lead dog, Togo, considered by many to be the true heroes of the run. Together they covered the most hazardous stretch of the route and carried the serum farther than any other team. The twentieth and final transfer was made and, according to legend, the serum wasnearly lost when a huge gust of wind toppled the sled of this final musher. The musher frantically dug the serum out of the snow with his bare hands, righted his sled and continued on. February 2 at 5:30 a.m., just five days and seven hours after leaving Nenana, the Norwegian, Gunnar Kaasen, and his Lead dog, Balto, arrived on Front Street in Nome. Salvation came through Courage, Skill, Teamwork, and  Perseverance!

Socialising in office

It is a fact employees spend major part of their waking hours with their collegues and coworkers,so it is but natural for them to build strong friendships with some of their co-workers.

As an employee you form close bonds at the workplace because you share common values with your coworkers, have a strong sense of affinity, similar experiences and even share the same work goals and aspirations. Always remember that you are an employee first and then a friend.

Some companiesfrown at the thought of  deep friendships among co-workers.

Your tendency to focus more on your friends at work could cost you a promotion and the management  might think you come to work to socialise rather than really do your job.

The company will not take you seriously, especially if you let your friendships get in the way of  executing your responsibilities, for instance your collegue commits a serious mistake and you fail to report it because of your friendship.

So it is necessary to know, where to draw the line between friendship and a professional relationship.

As Janie Fritz, Associate Professor of communication and Rhetorical Studies at Duquesne University says," Work is work, we are hired to do a job and as long as that takes priority, friendships can emerge naturally, be very constructive and enjoyable".

Your friendships at work are scrutinised by the management, so it is better to be selective about the friends you make here.

Your boss might not like you spending time onnon work related  activities with such persons or if one your pals has productivity issues, then your own output may be under scanner. Besides, forming close friends at the workplace,  puts you at the risk of being taken advantage of by them. They may ask you to fill in for them, help with tasks, do some part of their work or make reports. And it is difficlt to refuse, because they are friends.

Trust is important, all the more in workplace friendships,  because you tend to share both professional and personal secrets with such friends and unless they are worthy of the trust, there is the risk that they may divulge these secrets and this can at times hurt your career. So you must know where to draw the line,  when it comes to divulging  secrets, or spreading gossips and rumours. It may get you and your friends into trouble.

In these days of Twitter, and Facebook, use your discretion in deciding, which colleagues will be on your friends list. And modify your privacy settings so that your bosses and colleagues do not get to know too much of your personal life or post details about you which can get you into trouble.

Office frienships also influence professional equations especially if you or one of your friends gets promoted. this change in the status quo can cause friction in workplace relations and can affect performance reviews and other aspects of teamwork. If you have been promoted andlet your friend get away with less or shoddy work, others could also accuse you of favouritism. Similarly, if your friend has been made the team head, and you are close  to him, coworkers will tend to think you are playing up to the boss.

Another risk in such friendships if if your friends fall out with you, there is the risk that they may turn vindictive and reveal the secrets you shared or could start bad-mouthing you to the boss. Another issue is if your friends are in trouble and could lose their jobs, they expect you to stand up for them even if they have done wrong, this can create a moral dilemma for you and even put your own job at risk.

The best thing is to maintain the right distance in such relationships. This means consciously spending less time talking on personal matters and sharing more work-related issues.

This ensures less alienation in the relationship and few chances of trouble at work. The best way is to maintain proper space in workplace frienships. You and your friend/s should learn to keep personal and professional lives separate to form a long asting relationship.


Courtesy: Hema gopalakrishnan from The Hindu dated Nov.4,2009

Power boosters for the office

Office life. If you let it, it can suck the energy right out of you. Or, you can take advantage of your workspace to put pep in your step and become more productive than ever.

Your office—where you spend 30% to 50% of your waking hours—can work for you or against you, depending on how you use it.

"The workplace is the forgotten arena of the self-improvement battle," explains SparkPeople Coach, Joe Downie. "But it’s the place where people need help the most! Stress is a huge factor in how well you perform at work. It clouds your thinking and wears you down," continues Coach Joe. "Without that energy, you lose creativity, concentration and motivation." In return, he says, all you gain is irritability and tension.

Of course, the most effective way to fight low energy is with a heavy dose of thorough stretching, proper breathing, and good posture. "There are plenty of power boosters all around you. You don’t have to drop everything and run to the gym." In fact, there are dozens of ways you can reduce stress and increase energy—within 50 feet of the office. (No special equipment required.)

For starters, he suggests five minutes of mental or physical activity for every hour you spend at the computer. People who sit at desks and computers for hours on end are most prone to dwindling production from low energy.

Get Physical

• Go to the office staircase and step up and down the bottom step (like step aerobics).
  
• Massage your own head and shoulders. Find trigger points of tension in the shoulders, jaw, and base of the skull. Hold pressure for 6-10 seconds.
• Take two steps back from your desk and lean forward until you’re in an angled pushup position against the edge of your desk. (This will also work against a wall.) Do a couple quick sets of incline push-ups.
• Lift 1-3 packs of printer paper in each hand. Curl them like weights or lift them over your head.
• Close your door and shadow box for a few minutes. Try to imagine a stressor while you’re punching.
• Start a pick up game of trashcan basketball! Create trick shots, or play against a coworker. A little friendly competition can go a long way.
• Jumping jacks are a simple, quick way to pump you up. Try to increase your intensity (speed) and duration (minutes) to keep it challenging.
• Go for a short walk around the office or outside around the block.
• Stand up and stretch your muscles. Don’t forget your neck and wrists.
• Lastly, Joe’s favorite office exercise—using a stress ball. Squeezing a stress ball relieves stress while strengthening the forearms and wrists for typing.

Go Mental

• Do word puzzles. Crosswords, word finds—even a jigsaw puzzle.
• Fill out a Mad Lib with your co-workers. A little laughter can improve your mood and decrease stress instantly.
• Rearrange your office.
• Switch hands with whatever you’re doing.
• Draw something. Let your mind create.
• Stand perfectly still for two minutes. Just Regroup.
• Do some deep breathing exercises or quiet meditation.
• Make an inkblot with a folded piece of paper and liquid ink. Have fun with what you see in the blot.

Staying energized and stress-free at work isn’t difficult. The key is finding reasons to stay out of your chair:

• In the morning, take as long as possible before sitting down.
• Forget the boardroom. Hold walking meetings.
• Hand-deliver mail, memos and faxes.
• Chat face-to-face instead of by email or phone.
• Use a bathroom on the other side of the building or on another floor.
• Have a lot of phone time? Buy a cordless phone and move around while talking.
• Replace your chair with a stability ball. This helps you maintain good posture, and by balancing, you’re working your core muscles all day.

Taking care of yourself at the office is just one way fitness can help you in other parts of your life. All it takes is a few minutes at a time.

coutesy: Spark people

How to win over your boss?

One of the readers of my blog after reading “Delegation of Powers” raised a question “What to do when the middle level manager, who gets along well with his subordinates, but has almost always differences of opinion with the top boss, but forced to implement the decisions.

The very simple solution for the same is "Do the same to your boss, of what you expect from your subordinates." Many of us do not apply this and do not understand how your subordinates pleased you in similar situation

The boss

If you think you're working for a bad boss, you have plenty of company. Of 1,118 people who completed a survey at the Badbossology.com web site last year, "48 percent said they would fire their boss if they could, 29 percent would have their boss assessed by a workplace psychologist and 23 percent would send their boss for management training.

The dilemma faced by middle managers at all levels. is like a bewildered, hapless cat standing between a large, pointing, barking dog on one side and a small, distraught yapping dog on the other. When you were promoted or promised promotion, you were probably not warned about all the ways in which you would be “caught in the middle”. In this presentation, I want to talk about some of the ways in which you can be in the middle.

How can so many people be so unhappy with their bosses at the same time so many bosses clearly are trying to do a better job?

You

Most of us have a natural aversion to authority and tend to instanly dislike the boss. The common perception is that"he is always out to get me". In fact, it seems like his very job to make you suffer. You keep confronting him and constantly dream of boxing his ears or somehow making his job difficult for him.

Yet, despite the brewing squabbles and resentment, deep down you do realise that there is not much choice but to keep a decent relationship going with your boss. This is essential for your very survival and growth and hostility will only damage your careers.

Having an antagonistic relationship with your supervisor is a career killer. No matter, how skilled you are, if you don't have a good relationship with your boss, your job is not secure.

When requesting any modification to policies or procedures, you must first view the situation from a management perspective. Consider these three questions. How would this change benefit the business? What problems might the change create for management? How could those problems be avoided?

The study draws on Hofstede's concept and classification of national culture to predict that job satisfaction will be lower, job tension higher, and interpersonal relations poorer for managers in the high power distance,

Mid-level managers often end up in their positions because they were good at detail-oriented performance, not because they were trained as managers. The skills that boosted them into management may not be the ones they need to be successful in their new roles

New managers often struggle because they are moving from a job they mastered to a new arena where they have low competence and start to be judged not just by their own work but by the work of the people they supervise.”

I would tell some- one who is just entering management to understand, it is just as important to explain the ‘why’ as to manage the ‘how.’”

It takes different skill sets to be a boss as you move up. In supervising front line staff, you may need to be more involved with process. When you are managing senior executives, the challenge is to try to create understanding and align to a vision.

If your bosses are good, then you may actually function as a manager, but frequently the last word in "middle management" is a joke, because, while you have tremendous day to day responsibility, you aren't really in on management decisions that effect policy and procedure.

You, after all, are responsible for virtually all of their actions while they are under your immediate command, and you are expected to know what they are doing and how well they are doing it. If they screw up you may be held partially accountable. If there is a major screw-up and there is any way you might have possibly intervened, you better believe others will be out to get you even if your bosses support you.

Then, I have to be frank with you, there isn't much you can do except muddle through trying to think over each decision, every comment you make, as to the long range consequences. Try not to jump in with a short term "out" that you will regret later. After all, these are all people you'll be working with closely and who you will be counting on to back you up.

Remedies

Theboss is not often your enemy. The problem may very well lie with you as you subconciously resent taking orders and being told what to do. You have to learn to submit to authority and do what the boss says. This will lead to a more satisfactory relationship on both sides.

Try your best to please your boss, but do not overdo this, as most managers actually despise such behaviour. Look for opportunities to compliment his work and make him look good. Even if you don't agree with him always, behave professionally and subtly after suggestions, solutions, or feed back according to the situation. Attempt to clear the air as many times as simple misunderstandings can be the root cause of great conflicts.

Make the effort to get to know him by engaging in casual conversation whenever possible, without crossing the limit, i.e getting too personal.

Remember that no matter how draconian he may appear to you, the boss is also after all human. You often do not realise how much your bosses depend on you. They need cooperation, reliability and honesty from their direct reports. And if you have them, why should he hate you. You also do not realise how much you depend on your boss for links to the rest of the organisation, for setting priorities and for obtaining critical resources.

So treat him nicely while appreciating his pressures, recognising his concerns and understanding his objectives. Show you boss that you are on his side by working hard and being a dependable, crdible employee who is committed to the organisation's growth. Delivering consistent and quality results will show that you are not a slacker, but genuinely involved in your work. Also try to understand his preferred style of working and adjust accordingly, by accommadating the glaring differences.

You can actually turn your boss in to your ally by looking to him as your guide and even a mentor who can help you to succeed. Do not hesitate to discuss your work problems and seek advice on your career growth. (Always show the problems as common, by not making any particular person or department is the cause for the same). He will be happy that you trust him and value his opinion enough to act on it. thus further strengthening your relationship. But, be careful in all your expressions that you do not over act or it appears to be so.

Never ever gossip about the boss or your opinion about him even with your closest collegues, save it for family and close friends. At times, you will be surprised, how did it reach him

The trick is to treat you boss as your client. Pretend like you are in business, and that your boss is most important ( and quite possibly your most difficult) client, who give you maximum business.

Do not forget that your future is well and truly in your boss's hands. He will not only determine your promotion, raise your salary or assign you to a plum project on which you haveyour eyes on, but also is persumably the guy who will sign your next pay cheque.

Even if you have had a rocky relationship until now, it makes sense to rebuild the broken bridges by apologising for the previous bad attitude and making nice by making nice by sing the tips mentioned earlier.

And, once a healthy, compatible and productive relationship is in place, great things will always happen.

As I say all the time, but will say again: talk things through with your spouse and close friends, don't stuff your feelings.

( from various sites and also from Payal Chanaia from The Hindu)