TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman.
Shortly thereafter, he met a farmer who had three stunningly gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. He explained his mission to the farmer, asking permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want." So the man took the first daughter out on a date.
The next day, the farmer asked the man for his opinion.
"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice... pigeon-toed. "
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls. So the man took the second daughter out on a date.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice... cross-eyed."
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might get better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!" and they were married right away.
Months later, a baby was born. When the man visited the nursery, he was horrified! The baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine.
He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.
"Well," explained the farmer. "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice... pregnant when you met her."